I Went Walking One Day

I Went Walking One Day

"There comes a longing never to travel again except on foot." -Wendell Berry

This morning, I didn't wake up at 5:30 to the sound of people pulling on hiking boots and crumpling plastic bags. I didn't wake up with the thought, "okay body, if you promise to function today, I'll feed you Spanish chocolate." I didn't wake up wondering what God would reveal in the silence, what kinds of adorable little villages I would pass through, what incredible people I would meet. 

I woke up in a fluffy white bed with clean white walls at 8:30, knowing that the only place I really had to walk today was around town and life has regained some "normalcy". 

And the realization made me cry. 

To try to put the Camino into words is to defeat the purpose of the Camino. I can say the obvious- I walked 311 kilometers (and have a certificate now to prove it!) across northern Spain, León to Santiago. A typical day would look something like this:

1. Wake up at 5:30

2. Eat a yogurt

3. Walk 10k

4. Drink a Coa-Cao

5. Walk 10k

6. Eat a bocadillo

7. Walk 10k

8. Arrive at the next town, find an alburgue with five free beds (not the easiest of tasks), do laundry, find dinner, figure out where you are walking tomorrow, and go to sleep around 9. 

But see, that's just it. Nothing in that description would make anyone say, "Wow, Emily, that really sounds life-changing. I totally understand why you want to come back and do all 800k of the Camino". 

The Camino is not defined by the walking. True, there is a lot of walking. 4-8 hours a day of willing your feet to move one after the other- across hot plains, over mountains, through forests. But the walking is just a vehicle for what the Camino really is. 

The Camino atmosphere is unlike anything else you will experience in your life. Old people, young people, wealthy, poor, conservative and liberal, from every country you can imagine with every life circumstance under the sun come together and everyone is treated as equals. We live together, we walk together. We cook, cry, sleep in double beds together when albergues are full. We bandage each other's feet, fall in love (ask me about Intimate Couple), make best friends, climb mountains, and sing together. We pass someone on the path, extend a hello, and six hours later not only have a new best friend, but a conversation that produced thoughts and insights that we will be thinking about our entire life. 

I want to tell you about some members of my Camino family. I know it's a lot of words, so I've included some pictures.

1. Italy (Kristina)

Loads of people here have trail names, usually their home country or nationality. I met Italy Day 1, as her husband laughed at us rolling around in the grass, probably thinking, "oh just wait girls, in two days you wouldn't be able to climb stairs". There are 80 villages we pass through on our stretch of the Camino, and I must have seen Italy in at least 40 of them. Every time she would scream "Eh-mee-lee!" and wave her arms until I went and gave her a hug. I now have her phone number for when I visit her in Milano. Nowhere but the Camino would it be normal to have a first name of someone and their phone number and have it be completely acceptable to go stay at their home halfway across the world. 

2. My Camino Parents (Kris and Barry)

I met my parents Day 2, when I got separated from my team (as became the trend- I'm a lot more independent than I realized- that'll be another blog post). We talked for a long time, and they helped me find my meeting place. They totally adopted me, and I saw them every day after that, loving the warm hugs Kris would give me and the "how's your ankle, sweetheart?" I'm going to miss this woman so much. 

3. Swiss (David)

What may have been the best day of my life, I happened to spend with Swiss. We had met in the previous albergue when four of our team were all cuddling in one bed. He acted like it was the strangest thing in the world and we struck up a friendship. I think he was a little relieved when just me and not the rest of my cuddly group headed out at 6, and we dived headfirst into deep conversation. It was the best day of my life because I felt at the height of my independence, and with malfunctioning ankles I literally climbed 3 hours up a mountain and 3 hours down the other side. But the impact of the day was only helped along by Swiss, and our six hour long conversation about Christianity, mostly about Catholicism; it was the most intellectually demanding and stimulating conversation I think I've ever had. And just like that, he was gone. The people here are very fluid, but the conversations last forever.

4. Randall and Pao

These guys were much like Swiss, I only spent about two hours with them, but hearing about their friendship and spending the afternoon with two of the sweetest guys on the face of the earth was such a blessing. From Texas with a thick accent and France with very little English, somehow they've formed a friendship that has resulted in them being together 24/7 for the past 20 days. I can't even fathom the goodbye those two had. 

5. Alex

We love Alex from Canada. As Ari would say, we are low-key obsessed with Alex. We also met Alex Day 1, and stuck together every day after that- usually even staying in the same albergue. He was there when we tried pulpo (octopus), when we stayed in the strange albergue with fairies and creepy elves on the walls, and waited next to the path to see us ride our horses up the mountain. He quickly became an integral part of our little Camino family. One moment in particular- I was so frustrated by malfunctioning credit cards, mismatched bus schedules and hotels that were too expensive, and I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. He came over and sat next to me. "Sorry Alex, I just get frustrated when I feel like I'm juggling this all alone." "Why do you think I came over here?" he simply said. Gem. Absolute gem.

6. Santa Barbara (Franee and Angela)

The description of Alex is short because the "fam" also includes these two high schoolers from California. We met Franee and Ang four days in, and they tagged along with us, and it wasn't long before the eight of us all became a family. Now we do everything together- we cook (mostly pasta), we walk, we venture around towns together. It's a really beautiful thing to go from making reservations for 5 to reservations for 8. 

And those are just a few of the faces. There are dozens of others I met who will have a lasting impact on my life. Last night, we gathered around cafe tables in the square outside of the Cathedral for one last hurrah. The Cathedral was our final destination, Kilometer 0 on this massive journey. And it was both a rush and a sigh of relief to see it after anticipating the moment for two weeks. But what gave me closure was seeing my new family sitting around tables, laughing and sharing stories one last time, knowing and yet avoiding the fact that we were headed back to the real world. 

It's a bittersweet time. The journey is over, yet I feel like it has just begun. The Camino bubble has popped, but there is a Camino mentality that I will try to carry over to the rest of my life. You do not need more than you are given, trust that there is purpose in every day, and everyone you meet is worthy of time and love, because everyone has a story. 

For now, I will be sad often. As strange as it sounds, I will cry when I don't pull on the same two outfits day after day. My feet feel antsy as I haven't already clocked 15k by this time in the morning. But like any beautiful event, the memories will only continue to sweeten. I pray that I look at life differently, and because of that, please don't hesitate to ask me about my experience. I will tell you as much as I can. Well, as much as you care to hear about, since obviously I could go on for hours. But don't expect an answer to "So, did you have fun on the Camino?" It's pretty hard to give an answer when you have experienced the most life-changing two weeks of your life. 

The Camino is not fun. The Camino is tears and silences that are too loud and ankles in so much pain they hurt when you swim. It's doctors visits to sketchy hospitals and humidity that makes the flies that cloud around your head stick to your neck. It's washing clothes in basins and smelling worse that you've ever smelt...and not caring. It's waking up before the sun rises and walking until you can't walk anymore then sitting down for a coffee until you force yourself to walk more. It's balancing time apart with constant wifi access and "Okay friends back home, I'm still alive" as news stories circle about the woman who went missing on the trail and various harassment of pilgrims. 

No, it's not fun.

But that's not really the adjective used to describe life. And when an experience makes you dig down to the core of your being and say, "Okay, God, let's figure out what you've got going on in here", there simply are no words that could ever properly describe it.

I'm excited to see you all. I'm excited to see how my Camino plays out in the next five weeks here serving other pilgrims, and especially how it affects my life back home. But right now I think it's time to put on a dress, use a washing machine, and figure out what in the world just happened these past two weeks.