To Twenty Years

To Twenty Years

It struck me as I wrote the title. I have lived an even number, two perfect sets of ten slices of life.

Everyone always asks, “Do you feel older?” on your birthday, and I think it’s safe to say that this is the first year that answer is yes. I am now in my twenties. The time that I have always thought about as life really starting. The years when all of my sought-after plans could begin to come true- travel, graduate college, go to grad school, get married, start a family…the age to be.

            

            Lord willing, all of those things will happe at some point. I suppose spending the summer hostel-jumping in Europe is a good start.

            But today I carried all of the contents out of my dorm room and realized that I am halfway done with college, with more confusion about where I want to end up than when I started as a naïve freshman.

            See, that’s my problem. Everything in my mind is two steps too far, and when the present yields no answers well, I get frustrated.

            So tonight I thought the best thing to do is to turn 180°. Instead of hyperventilating when I see my lack of direction, to reflect on the ways that God has blessed me. I take comfort in this verse: 

“Your own ears will hear Him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left” (Isaiah 30:21). 

God isn’t dragging me along, making footprints for me to step into, a flawless future with no room for hesitation. God is there, but He is behind me, nudging me forward when I am timid, or pushing me with complete force when I’m stubborn, which is most of the time.

            Future? Yes, it’ll be hard. It will also be right, because it’s ultimately God’s. Past? What a beautiful time to think back.

           

So here are twenty thoughts for twenty years of life.

1.     This world we live in is pretty darn amazing. I’m so thankful God has blessed me with a heart that longs for nature and feels so deeply trapped by buildings and spaces that aren’t open-air.

2.     Sometimes people suck. A lot. Making friends is tricky business and keeping them is even harder (those of you who have stuck by my side- I love you more than you will ever know).

3.     Vanilla pudding is heaven in a plastic cup.

4.     Growing up in the area, the sentiment I’ve always heard is, “You may move out of Wheaton, but you’ll always move back” and, “Wheaton is too safe and boring”. True, it may be a bubble, but what a wonderful bubble to grow up in. I’m not going to be crabby about something that most people would be thrilled to have.

5.     Know how many people are in the world? A lot. Know how many people you are? One. That’s right, we’re pretty insignificant.

6.     …But we are significant enough that the person who most loves us just so happens to be the Creator of the universe. No big deal.

7.     Education is the best career field. Try to argue, and prepare to be proven wrong.

8.     No child should ever have to lose a parent.

9.     In the same vein, empathy is an incredible and fragile gift. Use it carefully, and use it often. And if the only thing you can think to say is “There’s a reason for everything” or “I understand, I just lost my dog last week”- it’s probably best to shut up.

10. People really are kind. Talk to a stranger, they’ll surprise you.

11. It took me way too many years, but I am so thankful I am at the point where I can break into spontaneous song and dance without feeling embarrassed. Everyone should reach that point.

12. Become friends with people who will make you do things that scare you (here’s looking at you, Ali…)

13. There is always time to watch another episode of Friends (this bullet point reflects a recent discovery).

14. Make lists to look back on. It may not be an 84-qualification list for your future husband at age 13, but I guarantee, any kind of list with goals will make for a good chuckle.

15. Heartbreak is real. But mourn and move on, because if they don’t have enough decency to tell you what the problem even is, then the problem is no longer yours.

16. Spend time with people of all ages. You may find that the advice you get from a four-year-old makes the world stop spinning.

17.    58 is a lot of National Parks, but I will make it to all of them.

18. Always try to find ways to surprise people. Hide little parts of your identity–it’s a lot of fun to let people discover you love to rap or that at any given moment you think you would like to drop out of school and move to Nashville.

19. Mental illnesses are neither fake nor funny, so stop making jokes before you unintentionally hurt people you love.

20.  Life gets too complicated and messy because we forget that all it takes is loving God and loving others. The days I intentionally wake up and say “I’m going to try be pleasant today” always end up so much better.

I don’t think I’ll end with a clever conclusion, I have to go explore this whole “twenties” thing.

Love,

Emily

Oh yeah, and here's a picture. Reference #2.